Friday Night Fashion Rant

After going out tonight, I just had to get this off my small yet perky chest. Honestly, I'm just dumbfounded by the trends of women's footwear these days. I can not comprehend how anyone would find this shoe attractive.

How can that monstrosity have the nerve to call itself a shoe? This walking implement resembles an animal hoof more than a shoe meant for human use. Perhaps the above picture doesn't do the morbid clunkiness justice. Perhaps if we see if on someones foot, a human foot...

See what I mean? One couldn't possibly walk in such a thing, one could only clip-clop!
Speaking of clip-clop, what of this retarded cousin of the flip-flop?

I had a hard time finding a picture of this particular "shoe" because I didn't know what they're called. I googled "uncircumcised flip-flop" and surprisingly, that is not what this "shoe" is called. I finally found it after an exhaustive search, turns out this eyesore is called a "gladiator flip-flop." Well. Now I've heard it all. This concludes my Friday Night Fashion Rant.

A Special Request: Poetry without Inhibition

A Fine Wheel of Cheese

A good wheel of cheese is not hard to find,
Just look for one with a nice waxy rind,

A fine wheel of cheese is guaranteed to please
The masses, your friends and their families,

Always remember that cheddar is better
When shared with someone wearing a sweater

Brie can be nice if you say the name twice
Brie Brie, can't you see? Oh tasty brie

Swiss is a hit, full of lovely little holes,
But keep it well wrapped or you'll attract cheese moles!

Don't let the smell fool you, blue cheese is the best,
When tossed in a salad or grilled with chicken breast,

Whatever the color, whatever the rind,
A good wheel of cheese is not so hard to find!

So do not delay, eat cheese every day
Your bones will be strong instead of soft like clay